Welcome to ~ FOR YOUR TEARS ~ If this is your first time here I would love for you to visit my first post from June 21st, 2009 THIS COMES FROM MY HEART and also my post from February 20th, 2010 SAYING GOODBYE.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

WHY?

I've been doing this blog for just a few short months. I have come to love the women I follow, taking in each word of their journey and letting their pain enter my heart. I have read the posts of women who are living with the pain of a horrific heartache. There really are no words that go deep enough into what they are living with. I was so naive when I started this blog. I had no idea that in today's world there would be so much baby loss. What were the statistics 30 years ago? They are so high now that I can't imagine them being higher. For me, the naive one, I don't understand why this isn't big news. We hear horrific stories on the news day in and day out yet there is no mention of baby loss. WHY?

So every once in awhile, actually fairly often you come across the stories of the brave women who have conceived again praying for a full term live baby. Some of them succeed and it is the most wonderful thing to read about. I sit at my computer thanking God for giving them what they so desire as I cry tears of happiness. Then you read the story about the mother who has lost two other babies over the last 3 years only to give birth to a supposedly healthy baby who dies 3 days later. WHY?

I know how much they want to be mothers to healthy babies. How do you trust in God when faced with so much grief? We cannot walk away from God because He is right there next to you all the time. Without Him we have nothing. But here I am trying to comprehend this and all I want to do is scream out to God. WHY?

Why do these babies have to die? Why do woman who abuse their children get to keep theirs? Why are there woman like Octomom who get to have so many babies while others have none. WHY?

Then on top of this I read the sad stories by these women who have been almost shunned by family and friends. WHY can't people talk about this to them? They seem to get treated as if nothing happened to them. They gave birth to a baby/babies who passed away and it's as if their child never existed. WHY?

I just had to get this out. I hope I didn't say anything to offend anyone. Yes I am very new at this and maybe I shouldn't be saying anything at all. Please forgive me if I crossed the line. I too have been overlooked by family and friends when I try to show them my blog and what I am doing. I am proud of this blog yet only a few have said anything about it. So I guess I shouldn't be surprised when this tragic news isn't on TV . So how do we get this information out there, how do we get heard and how do we teach people to communicate with these dear women? HOW?

So I walked away from this post, giving my soapbox anger time to digest and I still felt compelled to post it. I hope you understand the my God is an awesome God and that I know He isn't taking the babies. He is the one who is holding the babies and I am thankful for having that knowledge. I believe in God and I believe in Heaven. Faith is the only way we can survive on this Earth.

13 comments:

Kate said...

What a sweet and thoughtful post. Thank you for all of your kindness. Thank you for being open minded, for listening and most of all for extending your heart to all of us angel baby mom's out there. What you are doing is beautiful and touching...and I am thankful. Hugs, Kate

Heart2Heart said...

Just trust in God with the intent on serving the needs of this ministry and He will take care of the rest. Too often we try and get involved and if we simply, let go and Let God, He will see to it that none of these women or children go un-noticed. Don't be influenced by what the media portrays anyway. It's just stuff that sells.

You are providing a great need and some day you will see the results of all your efforts. Just keep on going.

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Trisha Larson said...

It's so nice to hear someone that hasn't walked this horrific walk "get it". Thank you so much for supporting all of us.

I am trying to get the word out on what it's like to lose a child. I sent my "drowing" post to a few magazines. I need to send it to more. I'm hoping that if I can get it out into the public, people will read and start "running TO not FROM people that are hurting".

Hugs,
Trisha

Missing Kasey said...

Thank you. Thank you for not turning your back. As many do. I too do not understand and guess we never will. For someone who has not been through this herself that means a lot. I am glad that you have not had to deal with the heartache...You are doing a wonderful thing.

The Blue Sparrow said...

You really are an amazing woman. The fact that you dont look away is enough but then you send us the mothers of the loss your perfect gift of a lovely hankerchief. You are one of the few who doesnt have to be in our world but chooses to be here for us. Thank you.

Akul's mama said...

Our world is a very hard world to be in. It is amazing to me that you choose to be here. This is the world of broken hearts, shattered dreams, lost hope and shaken faith. Thank you for being in this world with us and wiping the many many tears we all shed.

When I lost Akul, I was so angry with God. For the first week, I did not want to talk to him, think about him or even cry in front of him. I had entrusted my child to him and he failed me. I was so hurt by what I thought was his rejection. However, I was unable to heal till I went to him and cried. Whatever little healing has taken place in my heart and what little comfort I have been able to get is because I have gone back to him. I just pray that he doesn't give me what I will not get to keep. I hope he is listening. I hope he is kind and I hope he understands the pain of all us loss baby moms.

I also pray that he keeps Craig and Mirne in his loving care. I pray he gives them the strength to go through this tragic event yet another time.

Nickel Pickle said...

I ask that same question all the time. WHY US?

Holly said...

I am so thankful for all that you do. I see your comments on so many blogs giving comfort. You are amazing and your ministry is amazing.

Michele said...

I think we will always wonder the why. Someone told me that, once I get to heaven, I can ask God and his meaning will make sense. My response was, and remains, there will never be a reason good enough. To which, I feel like God might reply, "I felt the same way..." God our father mourns his son... The Virgin Mary mourns her son... We are not alone in their grief. And, just as Jesus rose again to eternal life, so have our babies and children. It doesnt make the pain go away. It doesnt even make it easier. But, in some ways, it is the only comfort I've found. Knowing that they still live on...

It isnt fair. None of it is. I ask questions like yours all the time. Why someone like Octomom? Why is Michelle Duggar pregnant with #19 when so many women are struggling to get pregnant with #1? Why do some women have baby after baby to abuse while others of us bury our babies when all we wanted to do was love them? I just dont know... I wish I did...

Nan said...

Thank you, sweet soul. You are kind to help us and speak for us. xo

Michelle said...

Thank you so much for caring about us and the journeys we have been on. Your kind words are very comforting.

Tina said...

Debbie...you get it. Even though you have not lost a child, you still get it. I wish more people were like you. Thank you for all you do.
xx

Heather Mohr said...

Thank you for this wonderful support you provide to grieving mothers like me. This post vocalizes many of the thoughts I have been having since I lost my Madelyn. I keep thinking of all the people out there who don't want their babies and treat them poorly, and I wanted and loved my Madelyn so much, and she was taken away from me. We had known for several weeks the possibility of such an outcome, and it didn't make it any easier. We held on to hope and faith, and in some ways I feel they failed us. But in other ways I know that as much as I want her here with me, she couldn't be in a better place. However, such knowledge doesn't take the pain away, and it doesn't make me miss her any less. I am at least grateful that God gave her to us and not to someone else who may have chosen to give up on her...

SPECIAL REQUEST: I would sincerely appreciate it if you did not share my Ministry on Facebook or Pinterest so I can continue to mail out my handkerchief's. These audiences are just too big for my small ministry.....thank you.

Blog Archive

This blog is my way of sending love to women who have unbelievable heartache after the loss of their child. I will send a handkerchief to catch all their tears. Debby

DONATIONS HAVE BEEN MADE IN MEMORY OF:

Nicholas - Sophia - Alexander
Meredith Helen
Nate
Ella
Butter
Kasey
Emma and Chase
Tristan
DeKar
Sparky & Fishy Liebman
Kennedy & Drew
Baby Whitacre
Patton Family
Ella Grace
Jake
DeKar Ezri Schmidt
Nicholas
Aidyn
Emma Hope
Baby Harp
Baby Drapcho
Baby Brown

Sent With Love To:

The Mother's of Sandy Hook who lost their children - Abigail - Alisha - Amy - Kyla - Carol - Christa - Andrea - Julia - Ashley - Angelique - Kayla - Amber - Melissa - Judy - Felicia - Veronica - Summer - Nancy - Alicia - Sydnye - Kristi - Miranda - Shawna - Rebecca - Roxanne - Bethany - Danielle - Tracie - Kate - Reva - Amber - Lizz - Cassandra - Rebecca - Lisa - Laura - Louise - Courtney - Rose - Beverly - Vicky - Regina - Debi - Sumar - Michelle - Kaitlyn - Vanessa - Megan - Jenny - Crystal - Elizabeth - Brogan - Amy - Liz - Teresa - Christina - Cate - Stephanie - Cindi - Erica - Lindsay - Ashley - Dianna - Michelle - Tiffany - Elane - Kathleen - Nicole - Brittany - Magen - Hayley - Julie - Renee - Jessica - Jamie - Rachael - Lynn - Anne - Heather - Bethany - Erica - Sarah - Tracy - Joanna - Caitlyn - Jennifer - Sarah - Donna - Candice - Kimberly - Michael - Carrie - Jessica - Norman - Larissa - Michelle - Lisa - Anthony - Erica - Jessica - Miranda - Heather - Michaela - Nikki - Alexis - Kaydence - Angi - Erica - Adrienne - Djamel - Angel - Adrena - Lauren - Christi - Katherine - Stacey - Jessica - Christina - Amanda - Stephanie - Jennifer - Sarah - Dora - Theresa - Sky - Nneka - Julie - Burton - Janetta - Judy - Crystal - Nicole - Bernadette - Leigh Ann - Janet - Mary - Haleigh - Dorothy - Melissa - Nora - Lisa - Erin - Diana - Roteavia - Veronica - Natalie - Amanda - Rose - Grace - Tiffanie - Georgia - Mercedes - Terri - Vrunda - Whitnee - Lauren - Danglam - Mariko - Te Cara - Nancy -Michelle G - Angela - Cathy - Michelle - Natasha - Ashley/Charles - Lindsay - Kathleen - Nikki - Katie - Susan - Becky - Brittany - Jennifer - Cath - Jessica - Tracy

Sent With Love To:

Whitney - Renee - Bernadette - Melanie - Rachael - Rita - Raquel - Melissa - Joe - Gloria - Jessica - Amy - Sarah - Patty - Wendy - Regina - Marge - Lisa - Becky - Julia - Jennifer - Rachel - Brandi - Lori - Julie - Kara - Kimberly - Angelle - Alexandra - Andrea - Christy - Heather - Angela - Cheri - Logan - Dave - Cathrin - Kelly -Kent/Ronda - Chris - Melissa - Megan - Shelby - Rebecca - Amy - Hope - Rachel - Crystal - Pat - Mr.&Mrs.O'Neil - Amber - Bianca - Michaela - Debbie - Rebecca - Laura - Amanda - Kirsten - Amy - Andrea - Crystal - Anna - Deanna - Robynne - Carey - Lisa - Amanda - Candice - Sheryl - Ashley - Donna - Samatha - Caroline - Rhonda - Brandy - Brooke - April - Jenny - Rebecca - Kimberly - Janie - Brandie - Emily - Rebecca - Amanda - Becky - Shannon - Esmeralda - Patricia - Courtney - Caroline - Nicki - Meghan - Karen - Crystal - Sandra - Jeannie - Amanda - Amanda - Katie - Tesha - Laura - Stefanie - Jamie - Angie - Annie - Patti - Bonnie - Katrina - Laura - Angela - Paula - Amanda - Kaylan - Maria - Jennifer - Agnes - Teresa - Cathy - Nicki - Helen - Tabatta - Joni - Tiffany - Carrie - Jackie - Daisy - Renee - Bridget - Vanassa - Jessica - Chelsea - Mical - Keli - Catherine - Amanda - Kyla - Janie - Stacey - Angie - Tracey - Breanna - Shayne - Hazel - Ogelle - April - Tracie - Sunny - Anna - Crystal - Theresa - Alice - Ami - Ruth - Stacey - Jessica

Sent With Love To:

Karen - Kim - Jacie - Alyssa - Whitney - Tracy - Deanna -Elizabeth - Wendy - Amy - Mary - Jessica - Rebecca - Shannon - Diane - Leah - Kathryn - Paul - Lizdelia - Megan - Jodi - Jessica - Jodi - Andrea - Angie - Maridelle - Donna - Michelle - Megan - Liesel - Rita - Natasja - Stacia - Lindsy - Linda - Amber - Nancy - Amy - Cindy - Shanna - Trennia - Stephanie -Karol - Rachel - Cristina - Liana - Amanda - CarrieAnn - Carol - Dawn - Jamie - Sharon - Marinda -Angie - Anne - Natashia - Julie - Haley - Mechelle - Ginger - Christy - Kelly - Debra - Betty - Kelly - Amy - Lara - Kristi - Jodi - Hallie - Natascha - Charlotte - Mary Louise - Brittany - Kristen - Magdalina - Sheri - Elizabeth - Narelle - Dena - Kristin - Lorraine - Tenielle - Kathy - Sandie - Kristy - Hannah - Courtney - Tina - Alena - Jenny - Jennifer - Alissa - Jodi -Melissa - Mollye - Melissa - Brigette - Kim - Hina - Ashley - Sara - Doracy - Emilie - Kathleen - Melissa - Heather - Megan - Jamilyn - Kelly - Desiree - Laura - Amber -Iwona - Shelby - Brittani - Leia - Trena - Kellie - John/Sydney - Larissa - Mark - Dawn - Tiffany - Christa - Mattie - Jane - Dawn - Jennifer - Jamie - Kimberly - Jessica -Paula - Amy - Bethany - Carolyn - Rachel - Lisa - Monica - Priscilla - Lisa

Sent With Love To:

Shana - Holly - Tina - Christy - Juliet - Michele - Shalini - Brianne - Heather - Ashley - Marge - Emily - Susan - Kerry - Robin - Eliza - Cara - Kate - Jodi - Kara - Laura - Sarita - Jen - Nichole - Celia - Christina - Emalee - Heather - Mary - Leanna Nimoli - Jennifer - Danielle - Moriah - Amy - Katie - Angela - Michelle - Lindsey - Sally - Kristy - Celeste -Nicolle - Courtney - Karen - Nancy - Mirne - Lisa - Tiffany - Heather - Joyce - Andrea - Franchesca - Stephanie - Colleen - Jenna -Cristin - Laura - Malory - Angela - Rebecca - Shannon - Sara - Yelena - Selena - Heather - Lisette - Juanita - Brenda -Miss Stansberry - Crystal - Chanda - Brenda - Jill - Jennifer - Andrea - Meris - Cora - Lisa - Barbara - Michelle - Rhonda - Marina - Wendy - Sarhi - Alexxandra - Laura - Holly - Angela - Misty - Jessica - Sandy - Debbie - Heather - Crystal - Michielle - Amanda - Katy - Allison - Cori - Shandrea - Deni - Betty - Emily - Pamela - Amanda - Sarah - Krissy - April

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I also received this award from Shandrea at Loving My Angels

Thank you Jamie and Joanna for giving me this wonderful award.

Thank you Jamie and Joanna for giving me this wonderful award.
Forget-Me -Not, Oh Lord! and Pregnancy, Miscarriage & Life with Chronic Pain

THANK YOU SHANDREA

THANK YOU SHANDREA
Loving My Angels ~ Click to visit

WAVE OF LIGHT

WAVE OF LIGHT
2012

THIS PHOTO IS CALLED "A HUG IN YOUR HEART"

THIS PHOTO IS CALLED "A HUG IN YOUR HEART"
From me to you..........